adding to day one...

Financial Domination... wouldn't that be a nice perk?

In this day and age of "reality" shows, I find it amusing to watch things like "The Girls Next Door."  It is a sad thing to see a rich old man with his harem of bimbos being shown as an example of "desirable life goals" for today's youth.  I've been in this lifestyle a LONG time and I have NEVER found a single Sugar Daddy, nor Sugar Slave to support me in the manner to which I'd love to become accustomed. My Master takes care of me and our family because He is a good man.  He is all the "Sugar Daddy" I need.  He doesn't require me to work to support Him, although should it become necessary I would definately do so.  I've had an ex-husband who apparently believed in "bill fairies" because Goddess knows he left me with enough debt to ensure I never had decent credit again.  <shrug> That's life ...and a lesson well learned. 

Personally, most of the people I have talked to who practice financial domination of their submissives alarm me.  Of the lot, only two of them have independent careers of their own.  These two, while they do not TELL the slaves their plans for the money the slaves give them,  invest that money in the slaves names.  These two also provide 100% support, including medical insurance, to the slaves.  The other ones, near as I can tell... just use the money and the slaves... to be lazy parasites.  I have no respect for these people and rarely communicate with them.

For myself, while it would be nice to have a sugar slave, reality says that's not going to happen.  Any slave I hold would have to have a job and his/her own residence.  I prefer to have a self sufficient person who chooses to be in service to me.  I also prefer to know that should the worst happen to me, my pet will not be homeless nor penniless as a result.

I am by no means an expert on D/s nor BDSM...

I am writing this Journal to give myself an outlet, not because I consider myself an expert in any way on D/s nor BDSM.  I welcome comments and shared experiences.  Ialso hope that my viewpoint offers clarification to the curious.  I have a lot of years experience in some areas and almost none in others.  Master is the same way and neither of us considers "OUR WAYS" right for anyone but us.  We believe that any D/s or BDSM relationship is (and should be) taylored specifically to the needs and desires of the partners in that relationship. 

In the lifestyle, newbies hear "Safe, Sane, and Consentual" everwhere they go.  This is a good rule to live by and it was actually established to safeguard tourists in the public clubs.  Contracts between partners (while mostly legally unenforceable) are for the same reason.  Safe words stop the session/scene when the submissive has reached the end of endurance. Since online access has become such a popular medium for expressing mutual interests, I recommend safe calls for any meetings with new people.

A safe word should be a word that has meaning to the bottom/submissive but is not a commonly used word.  The top/dominant must know what the word it and will stop the session when the bottom uses that word.  The bottom MUST NOT BE AFRAID to use the safe word.  Mental and physical endurances are dangerous to exceed especially in a BDSM setting.  A session is often cathartic to the participants.  Subspace and Domspace are the results of that catharsis.  Some bottoms are incoherent/incapacitated in subspace and cannot vocalize the safeword.  IF that is the case, the Top must be responsible enough (and empathic) enough to stop the session and administer appropriate aftercare to the bottom.  Each Top and bottom are different and have different aftercare needs/preferences.  I have found, in my experiences, that sometimes each session has different aftercare requirements.... even with longtime partners.

A safecall is a must in this age of online connections. When one is meeting strangers, at least one friend MUST know where you will be and have a way to contact you (usually phone contact).  I recommend using a keyword to signal that all is well as well as another keyword to signal for help, should it be necessary.  A description of the other person's vehicle as well as their tag number are good thingsto give to your safecall.  I have in the past established a couple of safecall networks....and it has on a couple occassions .... saved a lot of hassle.  A safecallis also a way to prevent the other person from "requiring" or "pressuring" you for sex IF you are not interested.

While I find that D/s and BDSM are intensely sexual, it should be noted that not everyone includes sex in their D/s or BDSM.  Master and I do not often separate them but I have seen many others, especially in the public clubs, who do keep them totally separate.  There is no universal right or wrong in this.  It is all individual need/desire and you should keep open communication with your partner(s) to keep yourself where you need to be.

.  I want an intelligent capable person serving me.  I do not want to leech off of their hard work.