I've come to realize just recently, that sometimes, you're just so damn heartsore and exhausted by the little things and numbed by the big ones... that you simply no longer give a flip what happens any longer. I've also learned (and believe me, since this is my 4th marriage I should have learned it much sooner) that cutting and running saves in damage and finances to both the heart and the bankbooks.
When does the weight of how badly the kids will take the separation outweigh the disgust you feel for your spouse? When does the personal disrespect start cutting too deep to live with? When are you tired of the little things? ... there are about a million and one question you ask yourself... when you're getting up the nerve to decide to separate or divorce. Then there are the big ones... Do I want to live alone? Can I be a successful single parent? Will my kids blame me? Do the kids want to live with me or HIM? How will I manage alone? etc, etc, etc....
Let me tell you from the perspective of BEEN THERE DONE THAT got a drawer full of t-shirts. It is hard, but it can be done. Yes, the kids will have some issues but there are therapists and programs that can and will help. If your ex is Nasty about it all, get a restraining order and ENFORCE IT. Sometimes, you just can't live with a particular person. It happens when one of you grows one way, and the other, grows (or doesn't grow) another. Extended Family and In-Laws don't always understand Either. Ask them to, but realize that miracles don't come in job lots. Wouldn't that be nice? Be as nice to your ex, and the other family members as they are to you, in fact, OOZE NICENESS ON THEM at every opportunity. If they're bitchy, Thank them , then walk away. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION, legally.
